Parenting today is more complex than ever before. At the Kericho Holy Trinity ACK Church seminar, participants began with an honest reflection exercise — identifying what hails our parenting at the individual, family, community, and societal levels.
The discussions revealed a deep truth: most parents are not failing for lack of love, but because they themselves were never adequately parented, healed, or emotionally equipped for the complex responsibility of raising another human being.
As one participant insightfully put it,
“You cannot give what you do not have.”
This simple statement became the anchor of the day’s dialogue — exposing how unhealed wounds, unprocessed trauma, and generational pain silently influence the way parents relate to their children. Many adults today are still functioning from unmet childhood needs, trying to nurture others while emotionally exhausted themselves.
The Challenges Parents Face in Today’s World
The seminar identified several key forces that undermine healthy parenting in the modern era:
- Unresolved Emotional Trauma and Stress
Many parents carry invisible wounds from their own upbringing — experiences of neglect, rejection, or harsh discipline that were never properly addressed. These unresolved emotions often resurface as anger outbursts, emotional withdrawal, or overcontrol in their current parenting. Healing begins when parents acknowledge these hurts and seek restoration through therapy, coaching, or faith-based healing. - Work–Life Imbalance
Economic pressures have forced many parents into long working hours, leaving little room for meaningful interaction with their children. While families may meet material needs, emotional needs often go unmet. Children end up seeking attention elsewhere — from peers, gadgets, or online spaces — while parents silently battle guilt and burnout. - Single Parenthood and Absent Father Figures
The rise of single-parent families, whether due to separation, widowhood, or absent partners, adds emotional and financial strain. Parenting alone without shared guidance often leads to fatigue, inconsistent discipline, and emotional exhaustion. The seminar emphasized the importance of community support and extended family networks to bridge these gaps. - Disagreement Between Parents on Roles
When parents fail to align on values, discipline styles, or household expectations, children experience confusion and instability. Unified parenting grounded in communication, prayer, and mutual respect helps build consistency and trust. - Influence of Media and Peer Culture
The digital age has transformed family dynamics. Children are now more connected to their screens than to their parents. Social media, entertainment trends, and peer influence often distort values and self-image. Parents must remain digitally aware, setting clear boundaries while using technology as a tool for learning, creativity, and connection. - Lack of Parenting Education and Preparation
Modern parents face unprecedented challenges, yet few have received formal guidance on emotional intelligence, communication, or child development. As the seminar highlighted, we prepare for careers but rarely for parenting — one of life’s most demanding callings. Ongoing parenting education, mentorship, and church-based programs can fill this gap.
Healing from the Ground Up
Parenting is a journey that begins long before a child is born. Every stage — from conception to early childhood — shapes the emotional, physical, and psychological foundations of both parent and child. During the Kericho Parenting Seminar, participants explored how early experiences, known as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), can silently shape behavior, emotions, and relationships later in life.
By understanding these stages, parents can identify where wounds may have originated and take intentional steps toward healing — both for themselves and their children.
1. The Prenatal Stage — Before Birth
The journey of parenting begins even before the first cry. The prenatal stage, spanning conception to birth, is when a baby’s physical, emotional, and neurological foundations are being laid.
During this delicate period, a mother’s emotional state profoundly affects her unborn child. Maternal stress, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, or poor nutrition can expose the fetus to high levels of stress hormones such as cortisol, disrupting brain development and imprinting early fear or insecurity.
Other challenges — such as lack of prenatal care, domestic tension, or an absent partner — can create emotional disconnection and physical complications like premature birth or low birth weight.
To nurture both mother and child, the seminar emphasized prenatal coaching and emotional support. Expectant mothers need peace, safety, and stability. Recommended interventions include:
- Ensuring a nutritionally balanced diet and regular prenatal checkups
- Maintaining a healthy body weight and gentle physical activity
- Avoiding unsafe medications and harmful substances
- Emotional stability of the mother and home environment at large.
- Involving both parents in the pregnancy journey to foster connection and shared responsibility
- Avoiding harsh activities: Exercises, work, accidents and labor
Creating a calm and loving environment during pregnancy not only strengthens the baby’s development but also sets the emotional tone for future parent-child bonding.
2. The Perinatal Stage — During Birth
The perinatal stage, encompassing labor, delivery, and the immediate moments after birth, is one of the most critical transitions in life — both for the newborn and the mother.
Challenges such as complicated or prolonged labor, accidents during birth, and separation between mother and baby due to medical interventions, or lack of emotional support can lead to distress for both. Some mothers experience postpartum depression or anxiety, which can hinder bonding and affect their ability to nurture effectively.
These moments are pivotal. Gentle, compassionate care during birth can make a world of difference.
The seminar encouraged gentle birth practices where possible, including immediate skin-to-skin contact, supportive birth companions, and postnatal professional help and treatment for mothers to manage onset of postnatal depression. Fathers, too, play a vital role — their involvement during and after delivery promotes emotional security for both mother and child.
Health professionals and community networks were urged to monitor mothers and newborns closely during this period to provide remedial care and emotional support whenever needed.
3. The Postnatal Stage — After Birth
Once the child is born, the parenting journey truly begins. The postnatal stage — from infancy through early childhood — is where emotional bonds, trust, and attachment are built.
This stage, however, also presents some of the most visible parenting challenges. Nutritional Challenges, Lack of emotional warmth, harsh discipline, financial hardship, parental burnout, or instability in the home can hinder healthy development.
This is where child care is mostly needed. The presence of the mother is critical and here is the greatest challenge especially for working mothers. The child is often left with nannies who may not have similar emotional attachments as the mother. Some children have been harmed or violated by nannies in the process. .
Children exposed to these conditions often experience poor attachment, delayed emotional growth, low self-esteem, and relationship struggles later in life. Many parents also carry unresolved trauma from their own upbringing — a cycle that can perpetuate emotional distance or overcontrol.
The good news is that healing is possible. The seminar highlighted several powerful interventions:
- Reparenting and emotional healing for parents to address their own inner wounds
- Parent coaching and training of parents and nannies on positive discipline, empathy, and communication
- Creating secure attachment through the mother’s consistent affection, consistency, and presence
- Community and faith-based support groups for parents and children
- Regular mental and physical health check-ins, including nutrition, hygiene, and preventive care
Parents were reminded that children thrive not on perfection but on connection and consistency. Small, everyday gestures — listening without judgment, maintaining routines, and showing affection — go a long way in building emotionally resilient families.
Conclusions
Through the three stages — prenatal, perinatal, and postnatal — remind us that healing and healthy parenting are continuous processes. As Susan Catherine Keter often says,
“We must first heal the child within us before we can raise the child before us.”
By addressing trauma, nurturing emotional health, and creating supportive family systems, parents can rewrite generational stories — raising children who carry peace, not pain.
At Nourish and Flourish Live, we believe that every parent can become a vessel of healing, hope, and transformation — one conscious choice at a time
