Rose sat at her desk, absentmindedly flipping through her business records. Business was slow this season, but she didn’t mind. Every business has its highs and lows.
She glanced at her two employees—both idle, waiting for customers. Lately, her staff turnover had been troubling. She had developed a quick temper, snapping at people over the smallest things.
It was unlike her, but she couldn’t deny the truth anymore.
She was also lonely. Severely lonely, that is a better word.
Every evening, she kept her shop open until 8:00 p.m., even when customers were scarce. She told herself she was just being diligent. But deep down, she knew the real reason—she was avoiding going home to an empty house.
Years ago, she had moved out of the tiny bedsitter where she had started afresh after leaving her marriage. Now, she lived in a quiet, peaceful neighborhood. On the surface, her life was stable. But inside, she felt hollow.
She closed her eyes and let her mind drift back to the moment that changed everything.
She had been sitting in her sister Eunice’s living room, tears streaming down her face. “I’m so unhappy,” she had sobbed, pouring out her frustrations about her marriage.
Eunice had listened, her expression darkening. “You’re married to a narcissist,” she had declared with certainty. “You need to leave before he destroys you.”
Their two other sisters had quickly rallied behind Eunice, determined to “rescue” her. Within days, they had rented a bedsitter for her and set up a small second-hand clothing business to help her start over.
Over and over, they reassured her, “You deserve better. We’re getting you out of this toxic marriage to that pathetic hopeless skunk”. They tersely concluded.
And just like that, Rose had walked away.
She left behind her three young children—her babies, all under ten. Her husband had tried to talk to her, to bring her back, but her family had met him with hostility. They labeled him the villain, branding him as a poor racket and the sole reason for the failed marriage. His name was tarnished in their social circles.
Eventually, he filed for divorce and won custody of the children. Rose was given visitation rights.
Now, years down the line, she sat in her shop, staring blankly at the wall, feeling the weight of all she had lost.
The diagnosis of depression had been the turning point. Enrolling in an inner transformation program forced her to confront painful truths. With each session, she peeled back layers of suppressed emotions, childhood wounds, and misplaced anger.
And then it hit her.
Reflecting on her relationship with John, she realized he was a good man. He was a responsible father and husband. He loved the children and played with them when he had time from his work schedule, and the children looked forward to seeing him home in the evening.
He loved taking them on weekend outings, and whenever he traveled overseas, he never returned empty-handed. He always brought thoughtful gifts for everyone—including her.
Now, sitting across from Coach Susan, Rose opened up about her failed marriage. A heavy guilt settled in her chest, wrapped in shame and regret.
For years, she had believed she was the good wife—the one who had escaped a narcissist. But as she walked the path of healing, her perspective began to shift. She saw the toxic patterns in their marriage more clearly. And, to her dismay, she realized she had played a bigger role than she had ever admitted.
Had she sought professional help before making that life-altering decision, things might have been different. She might have fought for her marriage differently. She could have given her children the chance to grow up with both parents—in a healed, loving home.
Instead, they were now being raised by their father and a stepmother. A reality she could have prevented.
A single tear slid down her cheek. Then another.
As she sat there, sobbing, she whispered, “If only I had sought healing earlier…”
She lowered her head in remorse.
“He never cheated on me. He was never violent. But he came from a poor family, and mine never missed a chance to tear him down. His background, his accent, his car, his clothes—everything about him was ridiculed and compared to what they believed I deserved.
‘You should have married someone richer,’ they’d say. ‘Someone who matches our standards.’”
She let out a bitter chuckle, wiping away a tear.
“Over time, I started resenting him. I wished I had married someone else. Someone wealthier, someone of a higher class.”
Each time she saw her siblings, the resentment deepened. Their words echoed in her mind, feeding her dissatisfaction. And little by little, she convinced herself that leaving him was the only way out.
Now, sitting in front of Coach Susan, she saw the truth too late.
Her husband was deeply hurt. He couldn’t understand what he had done wrong. Each time he asked why she was sad, their conversations turned tense. Over time, simple misunderstandings escalated into heated arguments—angry quarrels that left wounds on everyone, including their children.
As the fights became frequent, her sisters urged her to leave. They “rescued” her and later helped her divorce the man they labeled a narcissist.
Now, sitting in reflection, tears rolled down her cheeks. She sniffled and whispered,
“Looking back… he wasn’t responsible for all those fights. I was.”
Rose had grown up in a family that believed they were of a superior class—wealthy, refined, and above others. They criticized and demeaned those they considered beneath their standards, especially the poor.
Without realizing it, she had absorbed this mindset. She had built a complex, a negative attitude that eventually poisoned her marriage.
Coach Susan calls this emotional trauma.
Had she gone through emotional healing, she would have recognized how childhood wounds shaped her perception. She would have been able to communicate, to work through challenges, to fight for her marriage instead of simply walking away on her sisters’ advice.
But now, it was too late.
The Power of the Subconscious Mind
The traumas we experience are buried deep in our subconscious. They shape our actions, thoughts, and relationships—often without us even realizing it.
Like a computer program, your subconscious runs in the background on instructions written by your past: before birth, during childhood, and throughout adulthood. No matter how much you try to change, your subconscious follows its programming.
When you enter a relationship, these hidden wounds surface. They question, guard, and direct your life, influencing your choices in ways you don’t always understand. Some traumas are buried so deep that you don’t consciously remember them. But your body keeps the score. It remembers. And it can sabotage anything that contradicts its conditioning.
Unlocking Healing
To truly break free from subconscious blockades, you must first understand them. Read our in-depth story on ACES #2 – The Cheeky Monkey and Guardian Gorilla: How To Unlock Your Mind And Break Free from Subconscious Blockades.
A Message from Coach Susan
Don’t wait until regret sets in. Seek emotional healing now.
Coach Susan offers a comprehensive emotional healing program and a free emotional healing guide—a safe space to begin your journey toward self-awareness and inner peace.
Tap into it today and take the first step toward true healing. Register for free at https://nourishandflourish.live/healthwise-bulletin/ to request your Free Emotional Healing Guide.
Disclaimer: This story is inspired by the experiences of Coach Susan Catherine Keter in her practice as a transformational life coach. The names used are fictional; any resemblance to actual persons, living or deceased, or real-life events is purely coincidental.
Photos courtesy of Pexels.com
